I'm starting to scare myself

It was raining, the cars were too busy going to and fro to realize that I (on my bicycle) needed to get into traffic. I stopped by the side of the road. I just stood there. Crying. I'm sure no one saw me, they were all too busy driving by. Behind me was a park. A big, open, green space. I wondered to myself how long it would take my body to freeze to death if I just laid in the grass. I wonder if anyone would have noticed and tried to move me. I wonder if it actually got cold enough to kill me that night. I wonder if I would have bothered getting up and going home before I died. It's been two days now, and I still haven't figured out how to stop crying. I just break into it randomly. I'm really afraid to go to work. Worried that I might just break in the middle of a call, and have to go home. Of course I'd probably just stop at the park and die. Who knows. I guess I'd better go, otherwise I won't be able to pay my mortgage and will probably end up living in the park anyhow. This city is really starting to get to me. Too many memories - mostly good memories, and they make me cry the most. I think I'll move. Preferably to somewhere I won't freeze to death in the middle of the park on a wednesday afternoon when I'm depressed and don't mind the thought of dying.