Lessons Learned

Things I learned tonight:

1. Don't eat grilled cheese sandwiches
2. Don't eat tater tots.
3. Don't eat turtle pie.
4. If you do eat any of the above, don't eat them all at the same meal.
5. If you do eat them all in the same meal, don't run immediately afterwards.
6. If you're going to run immediately after eating such a meal, don't try following someone that is twice as fast as you.
7. Speed bumps are armed and dangerous, and invisible in the dark.
8. Even fat, old men feel better after running for an hour, everyone should do it every day.